I could be German if I wanted to

doing nothing rocks...

while i missed a class and slept all day, germans were cooking me breakfast or dinner in bed. or maybe i watched too much food chanel... anywyas my whole point is that doing nothing rocks!

i want to have glitter falling down the sky everytime i walk
and everytime i make a move there would be glitter falling off of me like a fairy and everyone would know that i was there because i would leave a trace of glitter all over and people would worship everything i touched. not only germans would love me then, but everyone in the world.

So i heard that unllenker cant wait to hear from me. I know that I'm all sorts of cool. Wolle is complaining about not getting enough attention from coolness too. Well, sorry puppies, i cant please everyone. I have things to take care of, for example things like life. Well i need to run. see you later bitches!

Everytime I come to Tampa I always bitch about how shitty it is here. I walked into the store and people are fake nice to me kissing my sweet ass for no reason. no, thats a good part about Tampa. But sereously there is nothing to do. You cant even buy a post card here..

So I decide to throw a big party at my sister's house!!! She is usually out the whole day and i can totally invite strangers here and have a huge party at her pool. So anyone who wants to come e-mail me or post a comment and ill give you the address. But you have to be super hot and have the tiniest bathing suit even if youre a guy.

the thing is Tampa is so boring that people wont come here even for the pool party! I mean if you post anything like this on the tiniest blog in NY... people would be running here... but in Tampa i might get an old hag and a midget pet to join me. SUCKERS

today Wolle saw me demolish a bag of chocolate.......without the fountain...... I rock!

look how sexy... http://www.chocolatefountainsoftennessee.com/images/highres/dipped-strawberry(small).jpg it makes me want to hump that fountain thing. It just looks so sexy... oh look at the white chocolate http://www.chocolatefountainsoftennessee.com/images/highres/White-Chocolate-Photocard.jpg
Ok im gonna go find one and cover everything in chocolate... I can cover strawberries, and apples, and even crackers, and chicken, and tuna fish, and cheese, and fingers... so many possibilities... Aw chocolate covered food... you are so close to be in my stummy...

So I just started this blog because, as everyone know, blogs are only for "cool" people like me. And I already have 3 comments from Germans. Maybe I can make friends with all German people and they gonna think that I am so cool that they will let me control them and I'll have the power over Germany. Then I can dominate the world and make Wolle my number one bitch(which he already is) and unhenker my midget pet(which isnt a bad thing... I'll have a pillow for him to sit on and a little hat and I'll pet him when I'm bored.) So these are some of my goals for this blog. Worship me!

Wolle told me that this German dude been pretty jealous. He came to my site and was all nosy. He was trying to find out if Wolle is cheating on him with some whore. I told him that she snaped her fingers at me, twisted her neck, and walked away. But then Wolle told me that he is into this Yoga guy on the cover of some book who looks like a 70s pornstar with a mastache and all. So here it is unllenker. The mistery is solved. Now you know who that lucky son of a bitch is.

So me not knowing any German sitting here sewing on buttons like its my job and Wolle starts bothering me like its his job. He gets lunch and i ask him what he's eating and he just comes up with bunch of letters.... somehting like... WAFHashfdo... only it sounds much more German and angrier. Everytime he eats he brags about his food and all, but then tells me those crazy names. How am i suppose to know! Anyways, I'll just wait for my food until Saturday.

So what bitches??? I'm just as cool as you are, only that people can actually understand what im writing! I'll make Wolle my number one bitch because he was the one to get me into this whole blog obsession. To be honest, I dont even know what the fuck is blog. I'll just treat it as a page where I'll flip out about Germans and Wolle. I really don't have much to say about Germans, but, damn!, Wolle is the coolest motherfucker on earth. Really!!! So yeah... other than that, I won't have any food until saturday. For the next week I'll just go to random people and beg for food or money. If I'm feeding off the person i fuck, does that make me a hooker? Pretty cool huh? Well I'll go do something more usefull with my life then telling strangers about my food stories.